Like most of the best things in life, healthy, long-lasting relationships require maintenance and work. Whether a relationship is familial, spousal, or even a simple friendship; it is crucial that both people feel valued and listened to.
Some relationship issues have been there from the start, but have been ignored or brushed aside, and eventually reach an inevitable head. Others are new problems; where one or both parties feel something has changed. Perhaps they feel they are not listened to as they once were, or treated as well, or that the other person is growing distant. For some, they cannot help but repeat negative cycles that they witnessed as children, or something from their past stops them from creating a healthy relationship.
Sometimes, the people in question do not even know the cause of a rift themselves, or are unable to articulate it; they just know there has been a shift in the relationship, or an increased lack of communication, and they aren’t happy.
The most common causes for discontent in relationships are:
- Lack of communication
- Lack of effort
- Rudeness/ lack of respect
- Misdirected anger
- Being unsupportive
- Lack of affection
- Too much affection/ smothering
- Sexual discontent
- Long work hours
- Lack of together time
- Lack of alone time
It is unsurprising that so many people face relationship problems when there are so many pressures on individuals in modern society. Work, bills, housing, family and children, the pandemic, and even climate change, can leave people feeling stressed and overwhelmed, and therefore unable to give their best and most generous self in a relationship. How can someone be their best for a partner or family member, when they have scarce time for relaxation or reflection?
In some cases, both parties are actually trying their hardest and doing what they think should make the other person happy, but their ‘love languages’ are completely misaligned; and so they do not feel content with what the other is offering or even realise it is a demonstration of affection. People tend to demonstrate love in the ways they would like to receive it. The idea of love languages stems from a book by American author Gary Chapman, who explained that there are 5 different ways that people demonstrate love.
- Words of affirmation – Giving praise
- Quality time – Spending time together
- Giving gifts – Buying things
- Acts of service – Completing household and administrative tasks
- Physical touch – Cuddling and stroking etc
The good news is, whatever the root causes of relationship issues are, hypnotherapy can help to solve them. Hypnotherapy uses hypnosis to take people into a relaxed and calm state of being; one where they can access their thoughts and feelings without surface thoughts and anxieties holding them back.
Hypnotherapy provides a safe, judgement-free space to explore the reasons behind relationship problems. It allows people to talk openly and honestly about what is upsetting them and why. Once they know what the problem is, it is much easier to move on to the next step of how to solve it. Without acknowledging cause, one cannot move onto effect. The key to solving relationship issues is to determine what in the person’s past or character is causing such a negative behaviour or reaction.
If both parties are willing to try hypnotherapy; that is a great sign, as it shows a willingness and desire on both sides to work at the relationship and put in the effort required. If you are having relationship issues, please do contact me for more information or to book an appointment. I offer free initial 30 minute online consultations, where I assess you and explain how hypnotherapy can help you.