Most of us know what it feels like to be left out, let down, or simply alone in the world. But when those feelings linger, repeat, or begin early in life, they can leave behind invisible scars. Loneliness, abandonment, and rejection aren’t just passing emotions—they’re experiences that can quietly shape the way we see ourselves and relate to others for years to come.
So, where do these feelings come from? And why do they seem to echo into adulthood, long after the moment has passed?
Let’s take a closer look.
Where It All Begins: Root Causes
- Childhood Emotional Wounds
Our early relationships with caregivers lay the groundwork for how safe and loved we feel. If those relationships were inconsistent, distant, or chaotic, we may grow up believing we’re not worthy of love or that people can’t be trusted to stick around. Even if there was no “big trauma,” emotional neglect or feeling unseen as a child can have a deep impact.
- Loss and Separation
Whether it’s the death of a parent, a painful divorce, or being placed in foster care—experiences of separation can leave a child feeling abandoned. And when those experiences aren’t fully processed, they can show up later in life as anxiety, people-pleasing, or a fear of getting too close.
- Bullying and Social Rejection
Being excluded or bullied—especially during school years—can chip away at self-esteem and reinforce the belief that we don’t belong. The fear of rejection doesn’t disappear when we grow up. Instead, it often just hides behind perfectionism or self-sabotage.
- Romantic Heartbreak
Love can bring our deepest wounds to the surface. When a romantic partner leaves, cheats, or withdraws emotionally, it can feel like a confirmation of every old fear: “I’m not enough,” “People always leave,” or “I can’t trust anyone.”
How It Affects Us Later in Life
- Chronic Loneliness
You can be surrounded by people and still feel alone. Chronic loneliness isn’t just about being by yourself—it’s about feeling emotionally disconnected and unseen. Over time, it can take a serious toll on both mental and physical health.
- Trouble with Trust and Intimacy
If you’ve been hurt, it’s natural to build walls. But those walls can become prisons. You might push people away or overanalyze every interaction, waiting for the other shoe to drop.
- Low Self-Worth
Rejection often teaches us to look inward and blame ourselves. That inner voice might whisper, “You’re not lovable,” or “You’re too much.” And when we believe that, we settle—for jobs, relationships, or lives that don’t reflect our true worth.
- Fear of Abandonment
This fear can show up in subtle (or not-so-subtle) ways—like clinging too tightly to people, avoiding vulnerability, or overreacting to small changes in someone’s mood. It’s exhausting, and it can quietly sabotage even the healthiest of connections.
Healing Is Possible
Here’s the truth: these wounds may run deep, but they are not permanent. Healing often starts by simply acknowledging the pain and understanding where it comes from.
Regression Hypnotherapy can be incredibly helpful—especially by focussing on childhood trauma. Revisiting the past whilst in hypnosis is a very powerful tool to truly understand where these present day feelings have their roots and subsequently being able to effectively address them.
And most importantly: you’re not broken. You’re human. The fact that you’re feeling these things means you care deeply, and that’s a strength—not a flaw.
You are not too much. You are not too hard to love.
You are worthy of connection, just as you are.
If this resonates with you, you’re not alone.
Your story isn’t over. And it doesn’t have to be defined by the pain of your past.
Contact David Samson, Clinical hypnotherapist, to book an initial consultation and begin that journey of recovery
